New Attitudes South Broward Area Newsletter - April & May 2009

Portrait of a Sponsor

I can't give solutions to all of life's problems, doubts, or fears. But I can listen to you, and together we will search for answers.
I can't change your past with all it's heartache and pain, nor the future with its untold stories. But I can be there now when you need me to care.
I can't keep your feet from stumbling. I can only offer my hand that you may grasp it and not fall.
Your joys, triumphs, successes, and happiness are not mine; yet I can share in your laughter.
Your decisions in life are not mine to make, or to judge; I can only support you, encourage you, and help you when you ask.
I can't prevent you from falling away from friendship, from your values, from me.
I can only pray for you, talk to you and wait for you.
I can't give you boundaries which I have determined for you, but I can give you the room to change, room to grow, room to be yourself.
I can't keep your heart from breaking and hurting, but I can cry with you and help you pick up the pieces and put them back in place.
I can't tell you who you are.
I can only love you and be your friend.

~ Unknown (Submitted by Adrian Sue)

This newsletter is intended to be used by NA members as a forum for sharing experience in recovery, fellowship and fun. Some items on these pages may contain Narcotics Anonymous® literature. Copyright© Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. Reprinted by permission; however the material on these pages represents only the opinion of the members, not Narcotics Anonymous® Send all correspondence to: newsletter@southbrowardna.org

ILS Wendy Lynn

True to Myself, True to You

I learned to lie early on in life. I had to, coming from a home where I was molested by an older family member, where my father, who was in the public eye, was an abusive alcoholic. I lied when my folks split up and my mom had to go on welfare and I was stealing and hoarding food any time anything “good” came into the house. Lying came easier and easier as time went on.

I continued lying; being what I thought “you” wanted me to be, either to fit in, or to get you to leave me alone so I could practice my sickness in isolation. The relationships in my life were either superficial or at least took second place to my relationship with my disease, keeping me locked and loaded into harmful behaviors, thought patterns and beliefs. That being the case, not too many of those relationships lasted, for my dishonesty and self-centeredness would drive them away eventually. Worst part was, I had played games with everyone else and myself for so long that I lost my-self, until my only identity was a hopeless dope fiend, willing to do whatever it took to get just one more . . .

I found the rooms when at the end of my rope. I thought at first that I had found just another group of people I could fool and take advantage of so I could continue my spiral into Hell. You had all been there though, and recognized the games I tried to run, which had grown pretty weak by this time anyway. You would listen to me rant and rave, cry and cajole, listen to me outright lie, thank me for sharing, give me a hug, and tell me to “keep coming back.” Through listening to you share your experience, strength and hope, I found that most of you were just like me; people who had followed the disease’s voice into your own personal prisons of shame and guilt until someone finally showed you the key to your cell. Once the haze cleared and I could begin to put two thoughts together, I was able to reach a small level of honesty with myself. Through your example, I gained confidence that I could be honest with others without falling apart, being rejected or abandoned. This newfound confidence allowed me the grace to seek and use a sponsor, and to begin my journey of self-discovery and recovery.

Working and living the Steps brought me to ever deepening levels of honesty. I learned how to open up my heart and be vulnerable to another human being. I revealed those dark secrets that had plagued me my whole life; keeping me locked in the same closet I had stuffed them in for so many years. Memories of molestation, abuse, horrible acts, carried out on, and by me in the course of my addiction lost their power within the healing light of recovery. I felt a tremendous weight lifting from my shoulders, bent low for so many years by addiction, and I was able to look others in the eye when speaking. I was able to expand the trust I developed in the relationship with my sponsor to trust others in the fellowship. As we interacted daily, recovering, doing service work and hanging out, sharing our lives with one another, I was able to begin feeling trustworthy again myself. This honesty spread to all of my relationships—family, friends, work, even cashiers and passersby. With each circuit through the Steps I’ve been able to attain an even deeper sense of honesty and awareness of who I am and how I fit in life. I’ve realized lost dreams and gained hope for my future through the gifts this new life has afforded me. I’ve gained a vision of light in my life that can only be afforded by introspection and inviting a wonderful, loving God in my life. That light has allowed me to see life more clearly unclouded by the fog of lies that had shrouded my existence for so long.

Today, I’m able to be honest in my relationships, most of the time at least. I’m learning from being able to love myself, I’m able to approach others in an honest, loving way. You taught me this wondrous gift, the ability to be open, honest and vulnerable. For that, I am eternally grateful! Thank you for showing me how to live!

Anonymous

Things that I have heard along the way……

I.L.S. Erika B.

Opportunities for growth at times masquerade themselves as problem.

With faith, I can see the divine plan.

Some people don’t hit their bottom until they decide to stop digging.

We do have fun in recovery. I went fishing & I actually caught a fish, not a buzz.

Acceptance is the Key to Serenity.

Life is like a flower,

You need a little rain & the right amount of sunshine to grow.

Wherever I have a weakness, my disease will come at me.

God does for me what I can’t do for myself.

The solution is in the steps.

If I don’t take suggestions I don’t have an open mind. And if I don’t have an open mind I shut the door on my recovery.

Alcohol is a drug. I can’t drink because the number of my dope dealer is at the bottom of the bottle.

Watch your thoughts they become your words. Watch your words they become your actions. Watch your actions they become your habits. Watch your habits they become your character. Watch your character because they become your destiny.

F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real

=F*$# Everything and Run

=Face Everything and Recover

The 1st three steps are a journey from the head to the heart.

The only suggestions I have to pay for are the ones I don’t take.

God’s love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can feel it.

There is nothing anyone can say about me, that I haven’t already thought about myself.

A day without recovery

Is like a day without sunshine.

From The Editor ~ Hi Family Erika’s submittal got me going (so blame her, lol). I have found time and again how much power jingles hold, & can’t count how many times they have saved my a%#! So in lieu of that – I am including some of my own favorites through other submittals we received here at Newsletter

I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; I can't do His will my way.

But whatever I have placed in God's hands, I still possess.

You don't have to be sick to want to get well.

But if you don't want to get well, you ARE sick.

I would rather go through life clean, believing I am an addict

Than go through life drunk, trying to convince myself that I am not an addict.

If you want to quit using, you are going to have to quit using!

Newcomer: How do I know how many meetings I should attend each week?

Old-timer: Gradually cut back until you use. Then you'll know.

An addict is a person who wants to be held while he's isolating.

If you improve yourself 1% each day, you may not think you are improving much.

But, after a year, you will have improved 365%, which is a lot

How do we serve?

We serve on subcommittees, we open up the halls. We’re the ones who make the coffee or go on 12th step calls. We speak at the conventions, we serve behind the scenes. We’re the ones who stay behind, to make sure we leave it clean.

We chair our daily meetings, we carry H& I. We greet you at the door, and hold you while you cry. We listen to you on the phone late into the night; let you know you’re not alone, and that it will be alright. We put the chairs & pamphlets out, we hand out the key tags too; And this is just a little taste of all the things we do.

How do we really serve?

We show real love to our families, and to the gang at work. We have patience when we get cut off, instead of yelling, “Stupid Jerk!” We are witnesses to God’s wondrous love, and it shows in our lives, through the gratitude we spread around to our children and our wives. Our lives may not be perfect, but we’re happy anyway. Real serenity we’re finding, and share throughout our day. We reach out with our hearts and prayers to the corners of this earth hoping that folks realize just how much this life is worth. We approach each day as a sacred gift full of lessons to be learned.

These are just a sample of the ways we really serve.

Just because I accept who I am, doesn’t mean that I have to stay who I am!

Each heartbeat, each moment, I’m given the opportunity to change.

Whether I act on that opportunity determines if I’m going to grow or go, for I know that if I don’t change, I won’t stay, either. I have been so miserable, so helpless and hopeless for so long, stuck inside that belief that I can handle it, or that I don’t deserve anything but this life of loneliness and depression that it seems like the only thing I know. But I do know better today. I’ve seen such miraculous changes in others around me, and in my own life that I know its not only a possibility, but a reality that I can live happy, joyous and free. Happy: to be content, satisfied, fulfilled. Joyous: to be constantly amazed, renewed and refreshed at the wonders of life and love all around me. Free: free from addictive behaviors of all sorts, and free from belief systems that have failed me time and time again. Free to grow into a more spiritual, responsible, loving and caring man. Free to change, any time I choose to do so. That is the gift of this new life, the freedom of choice afforded me today. Now, most days I still choose to be miserable on some level or another, choose to stay stuck in at least one part of the pain of my past. But those glimpses, those moments, sometimes hours when I give myself the freedom to change, to love myself enough not to treat myself in those same self-destructive ways, those are the moments of glory, of wonder, of true happiness, joy, and freedom! Today I will seek out those moments, and allow myself to grow! Much love, light and laughter are what I wish for you today, johnh94

Resentments –

Resentments are heave stuff to carry around but I have learned, that for this addict. I had become comfortable being uncomfortable, and so, carrying resentment was just an everyday experience for me. In NA, one of the things I learned in my fourth and ninth steps was that some of the heaviest weights I could carry were resentments.

Since resentment is considered an emotion, and that emotion would be anger, as an addict without steps in my early recovery, if, I look back and see that I fed on that stuff. The crazy thing is that, if you look up the word, you find that the dictionary says this resentment thing could be over something imagined (NOT REAL!) IMAGINE THAT!!!!

Now that I have worked the steps (which to me are learned and practiced spiritual principals) I now know, that anger is not an emotion I want to feel for long periods of time. Sooo, when a wrong is done to me or someone I care about, whether it be real or imagined, I am blessed to have a program I my life ,which consists of a sponsor , a support group (close N.A. friends I can share honestly with) and of course the 12 steps (which gave me the god of my understanding). Remember, resentments can manifest into really bad emotions such as rage or even depression, so my best advice is to live this N.A. Program to the best of your ability and do some service , it will teach you even more about dealing with those darn resentments. submitted by Yo!

LIFE IS A GIFT

TODAY BEFORE YOU THINK OF SAYING AN UNKIND WORD

THINK OF SOMEONE WHO CAN’T SPEAK.

BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT THE TASTEOF YOUR FOOD

THINK OF SOMEONE WHO HAS NOTHING TO EAT

BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND OR WIFE

THINK OF SOMEONE WHOS CRYING OUT TO GOD FOR A COMPANION

TODAY BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT LIFE

THINK OF SOMEONE WHO DIED TOO EARLY

BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR CHILDREN

THINK OF SOMEONE WHO DESIRES CHILDREN BUT IS BARREN

BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR HOUSE

THINK OF THE PERSON WHO ARE LIVING IN THE STREETS

AND WHEN YOU ARE TIRED AND RESENT YOUR JOB

THINK OF THE UNEMPLOYED, DISABLED & THOSE WHO WISH THEY HAD YOUR JOB.

AND WHEN DEPRESSING THOUGHTS SEEN TO GET YOU DOWN

PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE AND THANK GOD YOU’RE ALIVE AND STILL AROUND.

LIFE IS A GIFT! LIVE IT, ENJOY IT, CELEBRATE IT, AND FULFILL IT!! Submitted by Barbara

March 8th, 2009 - Treasurer's Report

March - Beginning Bank Balance:	$3,316.08
Cash In
Literature Sales	$1,020.25
Group Donations	$927.74
Swamp Recovery	$484.00
Activities - Valentines	$981.37
Cash In Total:	$3,413.36
Cash Out	Committee
Gary B., Literature - Reimbursement (Ink)	$33.91	Literature
Gary B., Literature - Reimbursement (Order Forms)	$8.11	Literature
Misc. - To balance cash deposit	$6.80	Misc.
Cash Out Total:	$48.82
Total Cash:	$3,364.54
Payable to:	Amount	Committee
Florida Regional Service Office	$1,746.43	Literature
John A., Activities Chair (Anniversary Picnic)	$1,000.00	Activities
Handy Storage (Storage Unit for Activities)	$45.00	Activities
Wagner Press	$106.00	Newsletter
Share Unit (Rent for Area Meeting Space)	$50.00	South Broward Area
Kinko's (Meeting Lists)	$63.60	Literature
Handy Storage (Storage Unit for Literature)	$47.75	Literature
St. John's Episcopal Church (Rent/Donation for Meeting Space)	$10.00	Ad Hoc Committee
Michelle S. - H&I Secretary (Printing and Supplies)	$21.50	H&I
Steve D. - H&I Chair (Printing)	$9.54	H&I
Checks Total:	$3,099.82
March Totals
March - Beginning Bank Balance:	$3,316.08
Checks Total:	$3,099.82
Total Cash:	$3,364.54
March - Ending Bank Balance:	$3,580.80
Prudent Reserve	$3,500.00
Total Available Funds:	$80.80

An Area Service Committee (ASC) is a committee made up of representatives (GSR's) from Groups within a designated area. Administrative committees, Sub-committees, & Chairpersons; which meets monthly for its member's Groups.

The most important service that an ASC provides is that of its group's needs. When ever a group has a specific situation of need, which it has not been able to handle on its own; it can come to its ASC for help. These situations are almost limitless in scope; however, we have learned that we can get much accomplished when we work together.

An ASC performs other functions which are of help to the Groups. It can help Groups get started or give aid to floundering Groups. It may hold workshops or seminars to train trusted servants. The point is that an ASC handles whatever functions are necessary or helpful to its Groups.

In order to provide these services, an ASC needs the active participation of its GSR's. A group supports its Area Service Committee both financially and emotionally. It takes money to provide these services. It is a group's responsibility to offer this support.

However, as an Area grows, the financial needs of the committee also grow. In order to provide a full line of services it requires a steady, reliable flow of money. Some Areas provide these funds through activities. These alternate sources of financial support are helpful, but the bulk of the responsibility still falls on the members of a Group. (taken from: Definition of an Area Service Committee)

Twelve Steps to Insanity

We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives

perfectly and also manage the lives of those around us.

2. Came to believe that there was no power greater than us and that the rest of the world was insane.

3. Made a decision to have our loved ones turn their wills and lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.

4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of everyone we knew.

5. Admitted to the whole world the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to make others give us the respect we thought we deserved.

7. Demanded that others do our will because we were always enlightened.

8. Made a list of all the persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any length to get even with them all.

9. Got direct revenge on such people wherever possible even when to do so would cost us our lives, money or a jail sentence.

10. Continued to take inventory of others, and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11. Sought through complaining and self-medication to improve our relations with others; as we could not understand them at all, demanding only that they do things our way.

12. Having had a complete physical, emotional, and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame others and get sympathy in all our affairs.

Author Unknown

The Question has been asked: What message do YOU share most with the Newcomer?

Hope and empathy / identification. I remember how powerful those feelings were for me when I walked through the door. Before I was consciously aware of the similarities and could really identify, I felt the empathy and understanding in your hugs and could see it in your eyes. Nothing like it in the world, and it keeps me coming back.

That recovery is possible. That recovery means change. That life does not always change, but how we deal with it does. The other thing I always try to help the newcomer understand is that she has something to share.

The message of identification. Yes I am an addict and I have found recovery and freedom…You can too!

KEEP COMING BACK!!

April Anniversaries Stuie 1st 13 Yrs Dave M. 1st 15 Yrs Sara P. 9th 2 Yrs Bruce R. 15th 1 Yr A.J. 26th 2 Yrs Gail 28th 23 Yrs Wendy Lynn 27th 2 Yrs

May Anniversaries Jeanne T. 1st 2 Yrs Steve P. 3rd 25 Yrs Simi 6th 12 Yrs Brenda W. 12th 1 Yr Ellis C. 16th 5 Yrs Barry addict 4 life 19th 11 Yrs Cecelia 19th 1 Yr Anna H. 23rd 11 Yrs

UPCOMING ACTIVITIES

APRIL 18, 2009 - 4th Annual South Atlantic Area Service - H & I Gratitude Dinner Speaker – Dinner – Dance - Saturday 7:00 pm -

April 24-26, 2009 Conch Republic Area Spiritual Retreat 17, Recovery In Paradise reservations at KOA Campground Sugarloaf Key, 800-562-7731 for more information call Oma 703-517-0857

May 16, 2009 SFRCNA Presents: South Florida Regional Service Committee @ The Deauville Also …. SFRCNA Fundraiser - The Wizard of Nod @ 7pm

May 22 - 24 2009 GCCNA – Convention @ the Hilton I-95 & Griffin

Area Service	2nd Sunday	12pm ~ ?	Apr 5 & May 10	(behind share unit)	801 Douglas Road
Newsletter 954-865-6500	2nd Sunday	11:30 am	Apr 12 & May 10	(behind share unit)	801 Douglas Road
H & I 727-515-0889	3rd Tuesday	6:30pm	Apr 21 & May 19	(St Johns Episcopal)	1750 Buchanan St.
Activities 954-562-9377	2nd & 4th Tuesday	6:30pm	Apr 14 & 28th May / 12 & 26th	Hlwd. Methodist Church	400 N. 35th Ave. rm 217
Helpline 954-967-6755	3rd Thursday	7:00pm	Apr 16 & May 21st	Faith Christian	7676 Davie Road Ext

SUBCOMMITTEE MEETING TIMES

Thanks to everyone who stepped up to the plate and contributed to this edition!!

Please accept my apologies for this edition being late

(wanted & needed, ppl to get involved. No Clean Time requirement)